Georgia on my mind.....

I just got home from a visit to Georgia, a trip I'm not so sure I was quite ready to make. Dont get me wrong, I am glad I went. But I had to say good bye to my last living grandparent, blood line grandparent (we have several step Grandparents). I wasnt particularly close to my Grandpa, he lived in Georgia, we visited a couple of times. The last time was 10 years ago, that sounds AWFUL to even type, but it is true. This was only the 4th time I had ever seen him, in person. I felt a huge burning in my stomach when I saw him at the viewing. He wasnt anything like I remembered him, he had aged, he had lost weight, and he just wasnt himself. What I remember of him, was a beaming personality. A funny man. Very impatient. A mirror image of my own Dad, only years older. I caught me off guard to see him, lying there, peacefully. But with no movement. He was always tapping his foot, and rocking. My sister and I also had a hard time seeing "Franklin Andrews" written on everything. Thats my DAD's name! So my dad had to bury his father, it was emotional to watch & experience. How my dad will go day to day knowing he cant call his dad, its beyond me. I think my parents are my lifeline! I cant remember going a day without calling or emailing them! My Grandma (step Grandmother), Margie, was very sweet, welcoming. And made me feel welcome and a part of the funeral. I felt my heart breaking for her, she had to come home to a house she shared with my Grandpa for 30 years alone. She said "it doesn't feel like he is gone". That breaks my heart, who will be there when it does feel like he is gone?! To me, his absence was screaming from the house. And mind you, this was only the 3rd time I had ever been there. His chair was empty, the calender wasnt marked with a red 'X' past his birthday (he died two days after his birthday), his clothes were still layed out in his bedroom, his shoes still on the floor, his razor and aftershave still on the sink counter, his medicine bottles still visible. It seemed gut wrenching to have it all still there, so fresh. Yikes, I cant even imagine, and I dont want to.

We arrived to Georgia Friday afternoon, hopped a rental car and drove from Atlanta, to Griffin, where we stayed in a hotel. I havent shared a hotel room with my mom, dad, and Erica in FOREVER! Fun times! Just like our old road trips :) We changed quickly and drove to Barnesville, where Grandpa & Margie lived, to the funeral home. We were expecting to not view him right off the bat, I wasnt mentally prepared for that yet. But as soon as you walked in, there he was. He had picked out his casket himself. It was a beautiful silver US Navy casket. It had a crisp American flag draped across the bottom. And flowers were surrounding. From family, friends, and my dads co-workers. What a nice gesture. We met TONS of people! People who had stories of my Grandpa I hadnt heard before. I honestly enjoyed hearing all the memories people had of him. My memories are of when I was a little girl, and I was shy & timid around him. I wonder what he had remembered of me? After we left the funeral home, we went to his house. It looked the exact same as I remembered it. Margie had fed us, lots and lots of food. Let me tell you, the food in Georgia is something straight out of a Southern movie. Best pecan pie & sweet tea I've ever had! When we left Margie's house, we went back to the hotel. I had a hard time falling asleep that night, because I didnt have my kids with me. They are as instrumental to my schedule as I am to theirs. Gavin plays with my hair, and holds my hand, and Madelyn lays on me and talks till she falls asleep. So I played Words with Friends till I passed out. We woke up Saturday morning, had pancakes for breakfast and then headed to Barnesville for the funeral. It rained and rained and rained some more. The little church was cute. Tiny, little Pentacostal church. Where the occasional "Amen" & "Praise God" is shouted out. I found myself watching all the other people crying, and found it odd that I hadnt cried. Until I looked down at Margie, and she was clapping, singing, and crying. The pastor was telling about how God was ready for him, and how Margie didnt have to watch him suffer any more. When I looked at my dad, I lost it. Would I be clapping & singing at his funeral? Nope. Dont want to even imagine it.
At the grave yard, I looked around to see the many service men there. There were three sailors standing behind the casket which was fully covered by the flag now. There was another sailor standing in the middle of the cemetary in the POURING rain, without so much as a flinch. A little further back were three soldiers wearing dress blues with guns. After the Pastor finished his speech, the gun salute took place (that was neat), then the sailor played "Taps" which was really emotional. When the sailors folded the flag and handed it to Margie, I was emotional. Symoblic. The way Margie hugged that flag. It was beautiful. I know it was exactly as he had wanted it to be. Driving away, I just watched the green trees pass by. So pretty. Georgia is beautiful. The tall green trees. You never truly appreciate trees when you are from Texas, well from Burleson anyways.
So I am back, and reflecting on my trip. So many things I wish I could have done. Regret is my worst enemy. Could I have known him better? I bet. Should I have tried harder? Absolutely. I wont live wondering what if. I will just take all of the stories I gathered this weekend, store them, & thank God that he touched so many lives.
82 years, what a life :)

Franklin Andrews 4/20/1928 - 4/22/2010

TAPS
Day is done, gone the sun
From the hills, from the sky
All is well, safely rest
Safely rest
All is well.
Fading light, dims the sight
And a star gems the sky
Gleaming bright
from afar, drawing nigh
Falls the night.
Dear on rest!