Bzzzzzzzzzzz.....

Yep, thats all I hear out of my right ear. I never knew how much I loved my right ear until now.

I suffer from hereditary sensorineural hearing loss, and I get this from my Dad. He has it too, only his is much worse. So yesterday was plain miserable. All I heard was RING RING RING. For the medical folks, that would be Tinnitis. I thought I was going to go crazy. I always have it, off and on, no biggie. I have learned to "deal with it". But yesterday it had me in tears. It was the closest to schizophrenic I would ever like to become. I had to drown it out while I took care of the kids, and put on a fake smile while I wanted to ram a pencil into my ear. I kid you not. Then this morning I woke up to a faint ringing, off and on. But I can hear probably at 25% out of this ear. Nada. I hear Charlie Brown fuzz, so if you are talking to me, and I put my finger in my ear and stare extra hard at your face, that is why. Not because I'm crazy or anything, but we all know that I am crazy ;) So I am getting phone calls, that I cant hear. I'm in a depressive place. I want to cry because I cant hear. People who know me best, know this is the my one insecurity that I deal with on a day to day basis. I catch a lot of grief for my disability, yes I'll admit it, its a disability. At work, at home, at church, in my marriage, with my kids, friendships, and phone conversations with random people. Why not get a beltone? I'm not sure. I guess I will when I am good and ready. I just dont want to wear a hearing aid, but I dont want to not hear either. So, I'm putting this out there, in writing. I'm deaf and stubborn :) Still wanna be my friend LOL

Alas, the mom must go on. I'm going to work out, because there I can do something other than rely on communication. This WILL get me into a better mood.

Its also my Best Friend Julie's birthday! She is 28! Her Golden Birthday 28 on the 28th :) We are going to our water aerobics, then to grab lunch. If the work out doesnt get me out of my deaf funk, she most definately will. Love this girl. We have such a strange story the two of us. God pushed us back into each others lives for a reason, after a lot of hardships, and loss. Because when one of us is at our breaking point, its the other one who brings us back. I'm lost without her, My Fast Taco Bandit friend :) So Happy Birthday JULIE!!!!!

And if you havent heard the latest news......
My husband is joining the Air Force Reserves. As a nurse. And ultimately a flight nurse after certain training. We are a ball of emotion about this decision. Happy, excited, scared, sad, worried, and proud. I am asking for all of your prayers and support as we make this journey. And when he deploys, notice I say when because it is a definate possibility, I will need you to hold me together. This is another blog in itself, as I get more information I will post it, and share my experience.

Well I'm going to go swim, work out, and get some positive vibes going!
Thanks for reading!
Love ya'll